Till very lately, my perception about having a guide or mentor (professionally and/or personally), was to have that one person whom you look up to as an ideal who guides you throughout your whole career and/or life. This holds some grounds with the fact that our psychology and belief were built on the basis of the numerous questions in our early and mid-childhood, about a childhood hero, role model or ideal, who you look up to and want to become like when you grow up. My understanding and expectations from a mentor revolved around the fact that you learn their way of life, skills, take their advice and (hopefully) shortcut the process that helped them succeed. What took them decades, can take you just half - with their advice.
The truth is, this unicorn of a mentor is a myth. There is no shortcut and no one “perfect” mentor who can help you conquer all your career goals.
Why?
Perhaps, you don’t want the exact skills or behaviours they have for yourself. Maybe you just want 1 or 2 skills they have. They could have incredible technical skills but have terrible communication. Maybe you want to forge your own path - one that no one has ever treaded on before.
I quickly found out that I needed to reframe how I thought about working with mentors. I asked myself, ‘how can I engage a mentor to get what I want out of them?’. Now, I have dozens of mentors that I talk to when I have specific problems or questions. This gives me a diverse set of experiences and data points to craft my own unique pathways.
Storyteller
Sometimes, we just want to hear stories and recounts that could inspire us and could help us pull insights for ourselves. We know people who are successful, but they can’t really explain how they became successful, like if you ask an ace archer how they consistently hit the bullseye or the 10-pointers, they may just say something so simple which might not make any skill-based sense.
The Level 35 Player
This is a person who is an expert in their craft. The question arises here, why Level 35 because it is next to impossible to get audience with even a so-called Level 60-70, let alone a Level 90-100 player because they are inaccessible, have paucity of time and may not be in a position to respond most of the times. Instead, we focus on people who are very skilled at their craft but have the time and are excited to share their skills.
Co-Pilot
These mentors are most helpful because they ride the journey with you and have a higher propensity to offer honest feedback with their skin in the game. The discussions, queries and conclusions should be able to make each other comfortable, honest, and without getting too defensive about either's work.
Evangelist
These are the mentors that have a network and can help you find the right opportunities. Attracting these mentors is hard, but well worth the effort.
